St. Patrick’s Day is right around the corner.  Finally, that one day of the year when we can all get together and get completely hammered on a weeknight without having to come up with an excuse like “my dog died” or “I got fired” or “it’s Wednesday.”  Nope, no bullshit excuses to justify your chronic alcoholism and long suffering liver on St. Pat’s day, just shitty green beer, good friends (hopefully) and lots of bar fights (double hopefully).  And let’s face it, by the end of the night, you’re going to be slurring your curse words and saying sexually inappropriate stuff to chicks anyway, why not let your fellow party-goers know what to expect from you ahead of time by rocking one of these equally offensive t-shirts?

Fuck Me I’m Irish


This shirt puts a shagtastic new spin on the timeless “Kiss Me I’m Irish” shirts of old.  To update this classic, “kiss” is replaced with “fuck.”  That would also make for a nice update on the classic ending for most first dates.

Available at: FoulMouthShirts

Blow Me, I’m Irish


Another in, what you’ll come to find, is a long line of updates on the traditional “Kiss Me I’m Irish” shirt.  Everything stated about first dates above applies here also, except way more.

Available at: FunT-shirts

Kiss My Ass, It’s Irish


Instead of courtesy kisses or pity BJ’s, most of our dates tend to end with the phrase “kiss my ass!”  Who’s the one saying it?  Come on now, does it really matter at that point?

Available at: SurrenderMartha

Fuck You, You’re Irish


If you’re less interested in offending women and looking instead to go home with a freshly broken jaw at the hands of an enraged 4′ 9″ man with fire engine red hair and a fierce sense of nationalism, this is the shirt for you.

Available at: CafePress

Irish Moustache Rides 5 Cents


Breaking away from the “Kiss Me…” variations, this killer design doesn’t even mention St. Patrick’s day, so you can wear it year round!  Consider sporting it to your next family function, perhaps.  As an added bonus, the lettering is kind of hard to see, which means the ladies will have to get close to see what it says.  Hey, since they’re already that close, why not just take you up on the offer?

Available at: CafePress

I Don’t Need a Lucky Charm, I Have Boobs


You know who will be offended by this shirt?  Women with tiny breasts.  But seriously, is anyone trying to impress them anyway?

Available at: CafePress

Do You Have Any Irish In You?  Would You Like Some?


Finally, a classic pick up line (that is guaranteed to get you smacked) makes its way onto a t-shirt (that will probably get you smacked).

Available at: FoulMouthShirts

Pinch Me…And I’ll Punch You In the Fucking Face


This St. Patrick’s day, display your outright rejection of quasi-holiday traditions and your raging badassedness with this clever design.  And then, enjoy a night of being relentlessly pinched by drunken college girls and ‘roided up frat boys.  Redneck facial hair is strictly optional, but always recommended.

Available at: FoulMouthShirts

I Shit Rainbows, Did I Mention I’m Drunk?


Ladies, you know what men love?  Imagining you taking a long, steaming dump.  Actually, no, we don’t.  Not at all.  Wear this shirt on St. Patrick’s day so we can keep the “pretty girls don’t poop” fantasy alive.

Available at: CafePress

Shit Me, I’m Kiss Faced


Please note the use of the word shit to seamlessy transition back into “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” t-shirt variations.  As the name suggests, Stylecrave is a classy bunch.

Available at: CafePress

Kiss My Left Nut, It’s Irish


Alright, maybe implying that Stylecrave is classy because we execute poop jokes at a high level was the wrong move.  We’re actually classy because we post links to kids t-shirts that say “Kiss My Left Nut, I’m Irish” on them.  I’m not joking, this shirt comes in kids sizes.

Available at: CafePress

St. Patrick Didn’t Get Rid of All of The Snakes…


St. Patrick didn’t get rid of all the snakes…I just found one in my pants.  It’s like a Will Ferrell movie on your chest!  Then again, what t-shirt isn’t like that these days?

Available at: TeeWit

Sure It’s a Leprechaun Now…


Sure…it’s a leprechaun now but rub it and it becomes the jolly green giant.  A pickup line that implies that not only is your junk huge, but it’s also green.  Um, awesome?  I guess?

Available at: CafePress

I Got Your Pot O’ Gold Right Here


To harness the maximum seductive powers of this shirt, follow these simple steps:

  1. Engage a young lady in conversation and casually steer the topic of discussion toward your shirt with a subtle line like “hey baby, check the shirt.”
  2. Stick out your chest to accentuate your pecs and/or man tits.
  3. When her eyes move from your finely sculpted chest back to your eyes, hit her with the super deadly double barreled finger point accentuated with a wink and a clicking noise to approximate the sound of a gun being cocked.
  4. Go home sad and alone.

Available at: TeeWit

Hello, My Name Is Pat MacGroin


At the beginning of the night (or morning, depending on how you get down), when people are still somewhat sober, they will get the joke going on in this shirt and it will be hilarious.  Later on, when everyone is tore down…it will be even more hilarious.

Available at: CafePress

When My Irish Eyes Are Shining, I Need Some Pussy


It’s been said that women love a confident man.  Well, it certainly takes some confidence to wear a shirt like this without appearing to be a potential date rapist.  So maybe this one is a good idea.

Available at: FoulMouthShirts

You Must Be Irish Cause My Dick Is Dublin


Run a line like this on a woman on any other night and you’ll probably be laughed out of the bar.  Try it on St. Patrick’s day and you’ll probably still be laughed out of the bar, but you’ll be too drunk to care!

Available at: SurrenderMartha

Thanks for reading, and welcome to StyleCrave Diggers, Stumblers and otherwise!  We’re glad you came.  Have a happy St. Patricks Day, we’ll be drinking a few too many black beers for ya.  Did we miss any offensive St. Patrick’s Day t-shirts that you would love to wear on the greenest of all holidays?  Let us know in the comments!