6 Hip-Hop Fashion Statements We Wish Never Happened
Over the past few decades, hip hop has gone from what many people assumed would just be a flash in the pan novelty music genre to what is now one of the most powerful influences in pop culture. But as celebrated as hip hop may be in today’s fashion, it’s important to stop every once in awhile to take a look back at some of the less fortunate hip hop trends that have come and gone. For, if they go unmocked for too long, Kanye West will just bring them roaring back into the spotlight. Hey, that sounds like a good place to start!
Kanye West’s Afro Mullet
See? For decades now, the afro mullet has been lying dormant in the deepest corners of the American conscience. Not since the days when Levert’s “Cassanova” topped the charts has this monstrosity been seen as an acceptable means of styling one’s soulful hair. And even then, it was generally confined to the R&B world. But that absence led to complacency on our part. Sure, we’ve been making fun of the mullet for years, but this variation never really got the scornful attention it so rightfully deserved. Sensing an opportunity, Kanye West jumped into action. And now, we find ourselves face to face with a potential resurgence of the ironic mullet. Let’s see if we can’t keep that from happening with the rest of the stuff on this list, yeah?
Kris Kross’s Backwards Clothes
The teenage years can be difficult, especially if you’re a novelty kiddie rap duo destined for one hit wonder status before your first album is even released. At a time like this, the desire to make yourself stand out amongst your peers is probably overwhelming. But that’s no excuse to go putting your clothes on backward. Seriously, is resigning yourself to an existence completely devoid of the ability to use a urinal without dropping your pants around your ankles worth the brief amount of attention you get by dressing like a clown? I submit that it definitely is not.
Flavor Flav’s Viking Helmet
Sure, Flavor Flav’s clock seems like the more obvious choice here, but really, what would Flavor Flav be without his clock? You know, besides completely fucking awesome. That clock got Flav through some lean years. When he was getting arrested for shooting at neighbors and smoking crack, you still loved him because of that damn clock. It’s iconic. But the viking helmet? That’s pushing it a bit too far. Flavor Flav knows he’s ridiculous, but part of his charm has always been that he seems to be more in on the joke than actually being a joke. But once he put that helmet on, the joke wasn’t on anyone but him. With that said, the helmet is still less embarrassing than having everyone know you banged Brigitte Nielsen.
Paul Wall’s Grill
The absolute worst kind of horrific fashion statement is the one that, somehow, inspires untold thousands to accept it as awesome and turn it into a trend. That is exactly what happened with Paul Wall’s platinum and diamond and whatever the hell else will fit grill. That’s not a surprise, considering he actually owns the company that makes the obnoxious dental contraptions. And, you know, it would be one thing if the trend confined itself to southern rappers and whatnot, but when people like Brooke Hogan start sporting them, shit has gotten out of control.
On the bright side, when hip hop trends reach that level of whiteness, it usually means they’ll be dying out soon. You know, kind of like how only soccer moms still say shit like “bling, bling” and “it’s all good.” Soon enough, one of the chicks from The View will show up with a grill on and people will realize it’s time to put this trend to rest for good.
Kid’s High Top Fade
During rap’s “golden age” the high top fade was the go to hairstyle of choice for discerning wordsmiths everywhere. Well, not exactly everywhere, N.W.A. certainly loved their jheri curls. Anyway, what I’m getting at is that it was quite popular and, when used in moderation, only slightly stupid looking. Christopher “Kid” Reid, one half of the happy go lucky kickstepping rap duo Kid ‘N Play, did not grasp this need for moderation. When their first album was released, his hair was already the largest in the game. Although nobody else really seemed attention hungry enough to challenge his throne, he decided to keep it growing anyway. The insanity continued well into the years when nobody cared anymore, as this screenshot from the movie Class Act clearly shows.
Eventually, common sense prevailed and he cut his hair. And you know, he kind of looks even weirder now.
MC Hammer’s Crazy Pants
Really, MC Hammer deserves a list all his own. The glasses, the hair, that banana hammock he wore in the “Pumps and a Bump” video…the man should be a fashion disaster lifetime achievement award winner. But, with the possible exceptions of that crazy typewriter dance and unintentionally hilarious bankruptcy, nothing is more closely associated with MC Hammer than those crazy genie pants he wore. You would think a piece of clothing that bat-shit insane wouldn’t go over well with the masses, but that definitely was not the case with the “Hammer pants.” For that year or so when the country was officially on Hammertime, those damn pants were everywhere. I even had a pair, they were all sorts of comfortable! Thankfully, no pictures of me wearing them exist, as far as I know. Hammer probably wishes he could say the same for himself.
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Thanks for reading, StyleCravers, Diggers, Stumblers and Redditers! Tell us– what is your favorite fashion failure in hip hop history? Would you consider any of these mistakes a guilty pleasure, secretly admiring them? Are we crazy for including these in our list of the worst? Get the conversation started in the comments. Oh, and while you’re here, would you mind sharing us a vote in your favorite social media site? Thanks for the love, money grip!
Saturday, February 21, 2009 1:32AM
How can you forget Nelly's band-ade?
Saturday, February 21, 2009 1:33AM
high top fades are clearly the hottest shit. everything else on the list, I agree with, but how else does one accumulate enough hair/scalp real estate to shave the air jordan logo into the side of one's head?
Saturday, February 21, 2009 1:34AM
Lol, that is great. I too fell victim to the Hammer pants back in the day. They really were comfortable as you said, but only Hammer can look cool wearing those. Or could. Not so much these days. Poor, poor Hammer..
Saturday, February 21, 2009 1:42AM
I'm gonna guess that Adam Todd brown is a 37 year old white guy from New England.
Saturday, February 21, 2009 2:16AM
Great, great list!! But you've forgot some Will Smith stuff.
Saturday, February 21, 2009 2:21AM
my vote is for ANYTHING to do with sportswear…that has gotta be the worst contribution to pop culture of both hip hop and its close cousin, techno…I wanna barf every time I see either a b-boy or a raver in a track suit or wearing sports shoes…sports are SO lame.
Saturday, February 21, 2009 2:23AM
My friend, I beg to differ… and so does many of the top designers in the world .. beginning with "Dior Homme" whom have released their 2009 collections based on the success and the re emergence of "Hammer Pants men and women" in 2008
Lazy… just a little research…. please don't hurt us with un-truths … I am proud to be a proven visionary..
and always respect others perspective but have no respect for personal agendas.
for your learning … you could have Googled and got this info….. perhaps you did.. truly and article written by a "Never Was"..
http://mchammer.blogspot.com/2008/12/blast24-hamm...
Saturday, February 21, 2009 2:33AM
gorgeous mulatto sensuality. senses be praised.
Saturday, February 21, 2009 3:20AM
wow. great list
Saturday, February 21, 2009 3:58AM
What about backwards baseball caps and droopy pants that revealed ass crack? I think the world was better off without both.
Saturday, February 21, 2009 4:22AM
How did the band-aid on the cheek (Nelly) not make this list?
Saturday, February 21, 2009 4:56AM
Let's be clear none of these were ever copied in any mass fashion. They were just the trapping of stars
Saturday, February 21, 2009 7:51AM
You may wish that the various styles never happened but the fact remains that Hip-Hop has had global influence on fashion and language. Everyone one who wants to sound Hip, will be heard to utter any number of memorized urbanisms. Hip-Hop is often imitated but never obliterated.
Saturday, February 21, 2009 7:11PM
I would have to say the "shiny" clothing phase represented best by Puff Daddy (not P.Diddy!) and Mase, where they wore goose down jackets that were shiny enough to justify the shades they always wear.
Oh, and Missy Elliot's trashbag outfit from "The Rain" video
Saturday, February 21, 2009 10:29PM
hammer pants were everywhere … ??? i think not …
Saturday, February 21, 2009 7:44PM
don’t forget left eye lopes’ condom eye patch
Sunday, February 22, 2009 4:00AM
hahaha… nellys band-ade so true
Sunday, February 22, 2009 6:44AM
Am I the only one who thinks Cross Colors is painfully absent from this list?
Sunday, February 22, 2009 3:30PM
nellys band ade!
Sunday, February 22, 2009 7:17PM
sure, nelly's band-aid is incredibly gay, but what about the dude in his camp with the hannibal lecter mask? gayer? i think so…
Monday, February 23, 2009 7:31PM
Don't hurt 'em Hammer!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009 5:33AM
LOL great list
Saturday, February 28, 2009 3:11PM
hammer pants were most definitely not EVERYWHERE.
Monday, March 2, 2009 8:18AM
I can't decide whether the worst is MC Hammers pants or Kids hair! Seeing all these picturestogether has made me laugh so much!
Thursday, March 5, 2009 10:15AM
what about P diddy fur white fur coat???
Thursday, March 5, 2009 10:17AM
And lets not forget the pimp cup… Now that is just wrong!
Thursday, March 5, 2009 10:29AM
what stuff are you referring to?
Friday, April 10, 2009 7:11PM
Let's get those "dangle shades" Beyonce wore in one of her videos on this list…WTF?
http://isawitinarapvideo.blogspot.com/2009/04/con...
Friday, April 17, 2009 8:07AM
haha… those were some great styles!
Thursday, April 23, 2009 1:13AM
society please let's not hate. the real is these styles worked for some …just not all. high top hair back in the day with the playboy bunny etched in was all and everything for the little mama's. I was 14 and will never forget!
Monday, April 27, 2009 9:42AM
Wonderful list
Thursday, April 30, 2009 12:04AM
awesome pics, those teeth are something else
Monday, May 4, 2009 10:58PM
That high top fade went haard lol, and the grill did too, but thats a southern thing!!!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009 10:15AM
aw cmon don't hate on kid
Friday, May 29, 2009 3:12PM
Don't take it personal hammer. You are an entertainer not a rapper. You are a great dancer. You dressed your part. I was a CANT TOUCH THIS FAN like the majority of the world.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009 10:46AM
Man, you say that MC Hammer was doing Hip-Hop? How do you call KRS One's lyrics then?
I'm sorry but "bling bling" is not a real hip-hop… it's a joke.
Thursday, September 3, 2009 5:26AM
I agree with everything but the high top fade. I wish that would come back
Thursday, October 8, 2009 4:46AM
How's about Flavor Flav himself! He is definitely one of the TOP hip-hop fashion statements we wish never happened.